Dinner Time
If there is one area that has always been a struggle for me, that would be standing in the kitchen at the end of the day wondering,” What should I make for dinner?” With nothing planned, and few to no quick solutions, it is too easy to make the boxed macaroni and cheese with carrots and dip or stop for fast food on the way home (when I think about this before I GET home).
Dinner time is usually the most chaotic time of the day – everyone landing from their various destinations (school and work), cranky infants and toddlers, homework, after school activities (private lessons, sports, clubs), destressing from the day, preparing meals, house chores, planning quality family time, bedtime routine – and so many other options. It is no wonder that the insistent nature of these activities relegates meal planning and prep to “last place” on the priority totem pole.
However, improving this one area has major effects on so many other areas of family life. The Stanford Medicine website shares great incentives in an article titled “Family Meals: More Than Good Nutrition.” (Family Meals: More Than Good Nutrition, 2022)
“The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at
Columbia University says that the more often (five to seven times per week)
children and teens eat dinner with their parents, they are four times less likely to
smoke, 2.5 times less likely to use marijuana, and half as likely to drink alcohol.
“CASA reports that . . . adolescents and young adults who seek treatment for depression, anxiety, and other emotional problems are about half as likely as
their peers to have regular family meals. . . Teens that frequently eat with
their families say their parents are proud of them. These teens say their parents
are people they can confide in.
“Children who dine with parents tend to eat better, too. The Academy of
Nutrition and Dietetics says that children who join family dinners eat more
fruit, vegetables, minerals, and vitamins. They also eat fewer saturated fats
and snacks, and drink less soda.”
Numerous studies show that family meals affect nearly every part of our being – physical health, mental health, social development, spiritual well-being, academic performance, and acquiring work skills for adulthood. These benefits are also noticeable in adults.
Some may complain, “My kids don’t want to talk to me. I ask them questions and get one-word answers, or worse, grunts and unintelligible noises.” You are not alone. As I stated, this is a particularly hard time of day for everyone. But persistence does pay off. Making family dinner time an expectation and not an option is a good place to start. And learning to ask open-ended questions is a game changer.
So back to my original issue – what to fix for dinner? My solution – plan your work and work your plan. When my four children were all still at home (with three teenagers), I planned meals for two weeks, and placed the plan on the front of the refrigerator. Then I built my shopping list for those meals. Each morning I would check the plan, do any prep necessary that could be done in advance, and then went about my day. At 5 pm I would gather the ingredients and complete the meal prep, often with one or two helpers. As my children’s skills improved, I would assign them a night to make dinner. This required them to help with planning and early morning prep BEFORE they left for the day. They also knew they would have to allow time that evening to finish preparations. They often came to look forward to surprising the family (in a good way) with their masterpiece, giving them confidence and positive reinforcement.
Ronald Reagan said, “All great change in America begins at the dinner table. So, tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins. And children, if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American, let 'em know and nail 'em on it. That would be a very American thing to do.” (Farewell Address to the Nation, 1989)
So gather the family around the table, eat the feast, and ask the deep, probing questions. It just might change a big frustration to meaningful, healthy relationships, and save you a few dollars on the grocery bill.
Works Cited
Family Meals: More Than Good Nutrition. (2022). Retrieved from Stanford Medicine Children's Health: https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=family-meals-more-than-good-nutrition-1-2152
Farewell Address to the Nation. (1989). Retrieved from Ronald Reagan Presidential Library & Museum: https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/archives/speech/farewell-address-nation
